This guide walks you through the essentials of starting homeschooling. You'll learn about legality, deschooling, choosing a curriculum, and more to set you up for success.
A peer-reviewed study published in Peabody Journal of Education found that homeschooled children are typically well-adjusted socially and score above average on measures of social skills, emotional development, and daily living skills (Richard Medlin, 2013). Homeschool regulations vary dramatically across the U.S. — 11 states have no requirement to notify the government, while 6 states require curriculum approval, standardized testing, or professional evaluations (HSLDA, 2024).
First things first: Is this even legal?
Yes, homeschooling is legal everywhere in the U.S. It wasn’t always this way. Back in 1993, many states had strict laws against it. Now, the question is not if you can homeschool, but how your state wants you to do it.
States have different rules. Some like Alaska, Texas, and Idaho don’t require any notification. Others just want a letter saying you plan to homeschool. Some states need yearly updates and assessments, while a few, like New York and Pennsylvania, have detailed rules about curriculum and evaluations. Your state’s rules will shape your paperwork, record-keeping, and flexibility.
For example, in Texas, you can change your curriculum anytime without telling anyone. In New York, you must submit reports every quarter and meet with an evaluator each year.
What about the 'deschooling' period?
If your child is switching from traditional school, don’t rush into formal lessons. Many experienced homeschoolers suggest a 'deschooling' phase. This is a time to relax and reconnect, where academics take a back seat.
A good rule of thumb is one month of deschooling for each year your child spent in school. So, a third grader might need three months, while a seventh grader may need seven. Use this time to explore your child’s interests. Visit libraries, go to museums, read together, and play games. Let go of grades and performance for a while.
It may feel unproductive, but this step is key. Kids need to learn that education isn’t just about worksheets. If you skip this phase, you could face resistance later.
Choosing your approach (without overthinking it)
When you dive into homeschooling, you’ll hear terms like Charlotte Mason, classical education, unschooling, and Montessori. It can feel like you need a degree in education just to get started.
Here’s a tip: most long-term homeschoolers mix methods based on what works for their kids. The Charlotte Mason style may resonate with your daughter who loves literature, but it might frustrate your hands-on son. Classical education sounds great but can be exhausting.
For your first year, pick one general approach and be flexible. You’re not locked into anything. If something isn’t working by October, change it. Flexibility is the beauty of homeschooling.
Curriculum: Start small, expand later
New homeschoolers often make the mistake of buying too much stuff. They grab full curriculum packages, extra workbooks, science kits, and art programs—only to find half of it untouched by November.
Focus on just two subjects for your first year: math and language arts (reading, writing, spelling). You can cover other subjects informally with library books or documentaries. Once you’re settled in, usually by month three, add science or history. By year two, you’ll know what works and what doesn’t.
When picking a curriculum, think about your teaching style and your child’s learning style. Do you want lessons laid out for you, or do you prefer to wing it? Choose between physical books or digital programs. There’s no right answer—just be honest with yourself.
Curriculum selection questions
Here are some questions to think about when choosing a curriculum:
- How much prep do you want? Some programs are open-and-go, while others need customization.
- Does your child need video lessons? Some kids thrive with a 'teacher' on screen; others don’t.
- What’s your budget? Options can be free (like library books and Khan Academy) to $1,500+ per child annually.
- Is secular or religious content important? Many popular programs include faith-based elements.
- Do you want physical books or digital resources? Some kids prefer tangible books while others like screens.
The schedule question: How many hours?
New homeschoolers often plan for long school days, trying to mimic traditional schools. But they rarely stick to it.
Why? One-on-one teaching is much more efficient. There’s no waiting for a class to settle down. A lesson that takes 45 minutes in a classroom may only take 15 minutes at home. Typically, elementary homeschoolers finish academics in 2-3 hours, middle schoolers in 3-4 hours, and even high schoolers rarely exceed 5-6 hours of focused work.
Build your schedule around your family’s natural rhythm. If your kids are sharp in the morning, tackle tough subjects then. If they need time to wake up, start at 10 AM. The flexibility is what homeschooling is all about.
Socialization: The question you'll hear forever
You’ll get asked, 'What about socialization?' a lot. Your answer may change over time, but research shows homeschooled kids often have equal or better social skills than their peers in traditional schools.
The key is intentionality. Kids in classrooms get social interaction by default, while homeschooled kids get it by design. They often join co-ops, sports, music lessons, and other organized activities. Many homeschoolers participate in over five activities. They also socialize with different age groups instead of just their peers.
However, some homeschool families do isolate their children, which can lead to struggles. Successful families prioritize socialization. Your local homeschool association can help connect you with groups and activities.
Your first month: Survival mode
Expect chaos in your first week. Your lessons may take longer or shorter than you planned. Your child might resist or surprise you with eagerness. It’s completely normal.
Remember these survival tips: Start with less than you think you need—you can always add more later. Don’t compare your reality to others’ perfectly curated lives on social media. If something isn’t working, drop it. Give yourself six to eight weeks to see if homeschooling is a good fit. Early struggles often come from adjustment, not a fundamental mismatch.
Families that thrive share one key trait: they adapt. Bad curriculum? Swap it out. Wrong schedule? Change it. New interest in dinosaurs? Go with it! Flexibility is your superpower in homeschooling.
The bottom line
Every experienced homeschooler started where you are now—uncertain and excited. The truth is, no amount of research can fully prepare you. At some point, you have to dive in.
Your action steps are simple: check your state’s legal requirements, choose one math program and one language arts program, set a start date, and go for it. Everything else—methods, schedules, extracurriculars—can be figured out as you go. Most of it will change as you learn what works for your kids.
The parents who succeed aren’t necessarily the most organized or educated. They’re the ones who start before they feel ready and adjust along the way. That could be you!
Ready to simplify your homeschool?
BetterSchool can help you track compliance, manage records, and plan your curriculum—all in one place.
