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Understanding deschooling: A family's transition to homeschooling

Deschooling helps families shift from traditional schooling to homeschooling. Learn about its importance and how to navigate this process.
Lisa Thorsen
Written byLisa Thorsen
4 min read
Key takeaways
  • Deschooling is a crucial transition period when families shift from traditional schooling to homeschooling, typically lasting one month for each year spent in school
  • This time allows children to rediscover their curiosity and learn without pressure, paving the way for a more engaging and personalized educational experience.

Deschooling is the period families go through when moving from traditional school to homeschooling. It allows kids to reset their approach to learning, shedding old habits and rediscovering curiosity.

Most homeschool families report completing core academic subjects in 3-4 hours per day for elementary students, compared to the 6-7 hours typical of traditional schools, due to the one-on-one instruction and absence of classroom management overhead (NHERI, 2024).

What is deschooling?

Deschooling is the time families take to adjust when switching from traditional school to homeschooling. Ivan Illich, an Austrian philosopher, popularized this idea in his book, Deschooling Society, in the 1970s. Educator John Holt also embraced it. During deschooling, kids start letting go of the old school mindset. They stop waiting for teachers to guide them, worrying about grades, and linking education to bells and homework. It’s like hitting a reset button, helping families see learning in a new light.

Why deschooling matters

Traditional schools can create a 'hidden curriculum.' This means kids might think real learning only happens in classrooms with grades. After years of learning for tests, they often lose their natural curiosity. Deschooling provides space to recover from negative school experiences and reminds kids that learning can be fun. I’ve seen kids who once hated reading turn into book lovers just months after starting deschooling because there’s no pressure to write reports.

How long does deschooling take?

A common rule is one month of deschooling for each year your child spent in traditional school. So, a third grader might need three months, while a middle schooler could take six to eight months. But this isn’t set in stone. Some kids bounce back quickly, while others, especially those from tough school situations, may need a full year. You’ll know deschooling is working when your child starts asking questions out of genuine interest or picks up books on their own. There's no rush; it’s finished when your family feels ready.

What to do during deschooling

Don't rush into planning a curriculum right away. Focus on reconnecting as a family and seeing what interests your child. Go for nature walks, visit museums, read for fun, play board games, and cook together. Let your child experience boredom—it's often the spark for creativity. Pay attention to what excites them. These insights will guide your homeschooling approach much better than any test could.

Deschooling vs. unschooling

People often mix up these two terms, but they mean different things. Deschooling is a temporary phase, a bridge from traditional schooling to your chosen homeschooling method. Unschooling, on the other hand, is a long-term philosophy where kids direct their own learning indefinitely. Some families find that unschooling suits them during deschooling. Others use deschooling as a reset before starting a structured curriculum. Both are valid paths.

The bottom line

Deschooling isn’t wasted time; it’s an investment in your homeschool’s future. By giving your family space to unwind from traditional schooling, you create a better environment for real learning. Whether your child was in school for one year or ten, this transition helps everyone approach education with a fresh perspective and excitement. Trust the process, even when it feels like nothing is happening.

Frequently Asked Questions

Lisa Thorsen
Written by
Lisa Thorsen

Co-founder, BetterSchool

Lisa is the co-founder of BetterSchool and a homeschool mom of three. BetterSchool administers the largest independent homeschool community in the country — over 350,000 families across all 50 states.

When COVID hit, Lisa and her husband pulled their children out of school and hit the road. Homeschooling wasn't the plan — it was a necessity. But somewhere along the way, the family fell in love with it: the time together, the ability to tailor lessons to each child's interests, learning at their own pace, the freedom to travel, eating healthy on their own schedule, and the countless other benefits that come with homeschooling.

As they traveled, Lisa kept discovering incredible hands-on learning experiences that most homeschool families had no way of finding. She built BetterSchool to make it easy for every family to find and book the experiences that make learning come alive.

Through her community, Lisa has helped hundreds of thousands of parents navigate homeschooling, while also helping local businesses find and serve the homeschool community. She is the former managing partner of a law firm focused on business law and mergers and acquisitions — BetterSchool is her second technology startup. She holds a J.D. from California Western School of Law and a B.A. from Penn State.

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Table of Contents

  • What is deschooling?
  • Why deschooling matters
  • How long does deschooling take?
  • What to do during deschooling
  • Deschooling vs. unschooling
  • The bottom line
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