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Finding your style: Discovering your homeschool identity

Explore how to find your unique homeschool identity by understanding your teaching style and your children's needs.
Lisa Thorsen
Written byLisa Thorsen
6 min read
Key takeaways
  • Identifying your homeschool identity is crucial for a successful experience; consider your teaching strengths and your children's unique learning preferences
  • Embrace an eclectic approach that allows flexibility, focusing on what works best for your family while starting with core subjects like math and reading before expanding.

The eclectic homeschool method allows you to blend different teaching styles and curricula based on your strengths and your children's needs. It focuses on flexibility and adapting to what works best for your family.

According to HSLDA's annual survey, over 60% of homeschool families use an eclectic or blended approach, combining elements from multiple methods rather than following a single philosophy exclusively (HSLDA, 2023). Research from the National Home Education Research Institute (NHERI) shows that homeschooled students typically score 15 to 25 percentile points higher than public school students on standardized academic achievement tests.

Start with yourself

Your teaching style is important. If you pick a curriculum that clashes with how you naturally teach, it can lead to stress and burnout—even if it's considered the best option.

Here are some questions to think about:

  • Do you prefer a structured plan or feel restricted by it?
  • Do you like detailed lesson plans or more flexible ones?
  • Do discussions energize you or wear you out?
  • Are you a planner or do you like to go with the flow?
  • Are there subjects you enjoy teaching and others you dread?

Recognizing your strengths is key. Maybe you love reading aloud but find math tough. Focus on what you do best.

Also, think about your current life situation. A method that needs a lot of prep might work for one child but be too much with four. Your energy levels for discussions might vary depending on family challenges. Be realistic about what you can handle.

Common teaching style patterns

Here are some teaching style types:

  • The Organizer: Loves plans and schedules. Prefers structured methods.
  • The Curator: Enjoys gathering resources and ideas. Thrives with eclectic or Charlotte Mason methods.
  • The Discusser: Enjoys conversations and exploration. Prefers Socratic methods or child-led learning.
  • The Project Manager: Likes hands-on activities. Favors Montessori or project-based learning.
  • The Freedom Lover: Enjoys spontaneity and minimal structure. Prefers relaxed or unschooling methods.

Understanding your children's needs

Your kids have unique learning preferences that go beyond simple labels.

  • Most kids learn in different ways for different subjects. A child might prefer visual methods for math and auditory ones for history. Don't box them in.

  • Watch how they learn. Notice what grabs their attention and what they avoid. This can tell you more than any questionnaire.

  • Consider these factors:

    • How much structure do they need?
    • How independently can they work?
    • What subjects excite them?
    • How long can they focus on tasks?
    • Do they like routine or variety?
    • How do they handle challenges?

Each child is different. What works for one might not work for another. The strength of eclectic homeschooling is that it adapts to these differences.

The discovery process

Finding your style is more about experience than research. Here’s how to start:

  • Start simple: Focus on the basics like math and reading. Get those down before adding more subjects. Trying to do everything at once can be overwhelming.

  • Notice what works: Pay attention to what feels natural and what feels forced. What excites everyone? What causes stress? These observations will help you make adjustments.

  • Give things a fair trial: Most curricula need 4-6 weeks for a proper evaluation. Initial struggles often fade, and early enthusiasm can drop. Don’t rush to judge.

  • Adjust based on evidence: If something isn’t working after a fair trial, change it. Don’t stick with materials that make you miserable because you think you should. But don’t ditch everything at the first sign of trouble.

  • Connect with others: Talk to other homeschoolers who have similar families. What have they used? What worked or didn’t? Their experiences can offer valuable insights.

Avoiding decision paralysis

With so many curricula out there, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Here’s how to choose without getting stuck:

  • Good enough is good enough: No curriculum is perfect. If something meets 80% of your needs, go for it—don’t wait for a perfect match.

  • Limit your research time: Set a deadline for your research. After that, make your choice. Overthinking can delay actual teaching.

  • Start with trusted recommendations: Use resources like Cathy Duffy Reviews or advice from experienced homeschoolers. They can help narrow down your options quickly.

  • Budget constraints help: Financial limits can simplify your choices. Sometimes, having fewer options is a good thing.

  • Remember you can change: If a curriculum doesn’t work this year, try something new next year. It’s not a permanent decision.

  • Trust yourself: You know your kids better than any curriculum designer. Your instincts matter.

Style evolution over time

Your homeschool style will evolve. What fits in the first year might not work in the fifth—and that’s totally normal.

  • New homeschoolers often start structured. This provides security as you learn the ropes. Don’t feel bad about needing some structure.

  • Experience builds confidence. As you gain more experience, you can ease up on strict methods and trust yourself more. You might find yourself being less rigid.

  • Children’s needs change. A kid who needed a lot of structure at 8 might thrive with more freedom at 12. Stay adaptable to their changing needs.

  • Family circumstances change too. New babies or job changes can affect your homeschooling. Your approach should reflect your current reality.

  • Burnout signals the need for change. If you feel exhausted or dread homeschooling, something needs to shift. Burnout is a sign that it’s time to reassess.

Next steps

Finding your homeschool style is an ongoing journey. It’s about discovering what works for you and your kids.

  • Start with yourself: What excites you? What do you dislike?
  • Next, observe your children: What captivates them? What do they resist?

The overlap between your teaching strengths and their learning needs will guide you to the best methods for your family.

Give yourself room to experiment. Try new things, notice what works, and adjust as needed. Your style will develop through experience, not just research. Trust the process and trust yourself to find what fits your unique family.

Frequently Asked Questions

Lisa Thorsen
Written by
Lisa Thorsen

Co-founder, BetterSchool

Lisa is the co-founder of BetterSchool and a homeschool mom of three. BetterSchool administers the largest independent homeschool community in the country — over 350,000 families across all 50 states.

When COVID hit, Lisa and her husband pulled their children out of school and hit the road. Homeschooling wasn't the plan — it was a necessity. But somewhere along the way, the family fell in love with it: the time together, the ability to tailor lessons to each child's interests, learning at their own pace, the freedom to travel, eating healthy on their own schedule, and the countless other benefits that come with homeschooling.

As they traveled, Lisa kept discovering incredible hands-on learning experiences that most homeschool families had no way of finding. She built BetterSchool to make it easy for every family to find and book the experiences that make learning come alive.

Through her community, Lisa has helped hundreds of thousands of parents navigate homeschooling, while also helping local businesses find and serve the homeschool community. She is the former managing partner of a law firm focused on business law and mergers and acquisitions — BetterSchool is her second technology startup. She holds a J.D. from California Western School of Law and a B.A. from Penn State.

Related articles

Mixing methods: Combining homeschool approachesAdapting over time: Evolving your homeschoolCharlotte Mason vs Eclectic: Which is right for your family?Classical vs Eclectic: Which is right for your family?Eclectic vs Montessori: Which is right for your family?Eclectic vs Traditional: Which is right for your family?Eclectic vs Unschooling: Which is right for your family?Eclectic vs Waldorf: Which is right for your family?

Table of Contents

  • Start with yourself
  • Common teaching style patterns
  • Understanding your children's needs
  • The discovery process
  • Avoiding decision paralysis
  • Style evolution over time
  • Next steps
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